It's easier to behave in a socially acceptable way with others who follow the same rules, but how do you handle someone with anti-social behavior? When someone is rude, confrontational or purposefully undermining, there are some techniques that can minimize the behavior.
Anti-social people have expectations of how people respond to them. By acting outside social norms, they force others to cater to their needs and get frustrated. Anti-social people enjoy the knowledge that comes from knowing they have the power to change a conversation or disrupt a gathering. The best way to handle an anti-social person is to not allow that to happen.
When someone is making rude comments or acting rudely, many people initially react with forced laughter or simply turn away and ignore it. This encourages the individual to act up more so that everyone notices his behavior. Instead of turning your back, confront an anti-social person. Simply address the person in a straightforward and coolly polite manner. You can point out that their behavior is bothering you and others and that surely they know better. There may be a few more rude comments in return, but the wind is out of his sails and the rude person has been acknowledged, just not in the way that makes him feel powerful.
Another tactic that works with some anti-social behavior is to overemphasize your own good, sobial behavior. By acting extremely kind and accommodating, the person can quickly see that they will not get a rise out of you. Your over-the-top social etiquette will be a direct contrast to their rudeness, and may even make the person step back and reassess the situation.
The key to dealing with anti-social behavior is to remain strong and unaffected by the behavior. Whether you are dealing with a chance encounter with a stranger or are constantly exposed to an anti-social colleague or client, calling out the offending social behaviors and neutralizing them are the best way to send a clear message. When the recipient understands that his words and behavior are not going to get the response he craves or is used to, the control suddenly shifts to you.
By Jennifer Maughan
Editor: Social Psychology
